Happy birthdaze...

We are back from what seemed like a long time gone! Henry and Eliot were amazing, and toddler-ee:) The flight going to Toronto went swimmingly, that is until we ended up in the jet bridge disembarking from our double stroller in the middle of some sort of roaring noise! Both boys immediately burst into tears and insisted that I pick them both up. What was so fantastic is that we had the entire line up of people waiting behind us as I tried to shimmy both boys into their seats in a very narrow aisle. It was fairly painless while in the air as juice and magnadoodles did the trick. I jimmied the pile of luggage and car seats ( think Grinch sled) and the stroller one arm pulling, one arm pushing. The entire time I was whispering to myself, "You are awesome," I am sure many people were admiring my crazyness, ha,ha!

The days following touchdown were difficult as both boys came down with a stomach bug that quickly spread to my Dad. All involved were crotchety and Eliot enjoyed a Monty Pythonian puke that painted the walls, couch, and carpet as our relatives seated in a circle around us watched:0 Needless to say, Eliot felt much better afterwards.

The boys enjoyed some indoor playground time and "Poppie" was great at helping to find things for them to do in the rotten weather( sleet, snow and rain). It was a little tight at home and difficult for the boys to keep out of things and my dad's office. On the whole I was ultra proud of my awesome kids for negotiating a new place while not feeling well.

The flight home was also great except for a d-bag of a security lady who asked me, "How are you gonna do this by yourself?"when referring to me and my screaming brood. Thanks, I thought, are you offering to help? I literally had to shove both boys through the scanner, nice and one point for Mommy! Nothing a little chocolate milk couldn't fix.

And today, a day before both of my little cheese buns turn two I am awed at the struggles they had on this week two years ago to now. I love you, boys. You are my everything:) Now I know why I got a Gemini twin symbol tattoo, number 2 - for my best 2 and my honey, Matt.

Poppie and Henry and Eliot all share the same birthday, April 26th:)

This was Henry

on his actual Birthday:)

Little Eliot at the NICU in

Montreal - he was so sweet and little.

Little Henry with his feeding tube - he still looks

the same:)

The first time I saw my boys while I was on the gurney after my c-section.

The whole gang today! They really do grow~

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. - Carl Gustav Jung

Yep, gonna take Cheech & Chong to Toronto. Just me and my "lap child" and my ticketed kid. A little nervous, yep, palms are starting to sweat a bit. But, the good news is, I did it before. In fact, one year ago I took both kids and a huge car-seat and my double stroller, luggage, junk. Yeah, that's probably why I am nervous:) lol.

I have a "Cares Harness" for my one kid, and movies and cool unopened games for the short 1.5 flight. It'll be okay. Right?

I am looking forward to seeing the Motherland, friends and family after the year it has been. Poppie and Pops will be happy to see the kids and vice versa.

I will share about how it all goes, fingers crossed.

If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire, then you got a problem. Everything else is inconvenience. ~Robert Fulg

We spent last week going to the Ymca play group which was really good because event though it is spring, the weather is not cooperating! Henry thoroughly enjoys his jumping time in the bouncy house and of course seeing his friends. Eliot as well loves his practice dribbling and throwing and catching balls - this "ball" thing is his latest love. Looking forward to going to Toronto to visit the Motherland in a couple of weeks:)

We spent last week at the genetics department of Children's having Eliot measured. Dr. J was thorough. The first discovery was that Eliot has a forked uvula, a split or heart shape instead of the usual droplet shape at the backs of our throats. Apparently this is a form of a cleft pallet, genetically that it. We have an appointment with an ear/nose/throat Doctor to see about that and the impact it may be having on his ears. Interestingly, this uvula thing can also have an impact on his speech. Hmmmmm....

As well, we have to double check Eliot's heart as he was born with a PDA - a duct that should close after birth to allow blood flow to the heart etc. We will see a cardiologist to determine if everything healed up the right way. All of these things are to basically rule things out.

Dr. J assured us that this is how they do it, rule things out etc. He was quite interested in Eliot's eyes and how they did not look like Matt or I. We shall see... All of these Genetic things are scary, Fragile X syndrome, Noonan Syndrome and the list goes on...

We are often told with Eliot that has this or has that beginning in utero: Downs, CF and that list goes on. He was born and he was okay, we will hope for the same now.

In other news, I got a chance to do some free lance writing now, I am excited about that. Matt is thrilled about more photography shoots to showcase his talents.

As the quote says, " ...everything else is inconvenience". We just have to be hopeful and be grateful.

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars" - Oscar Wilde

Ah yes, the stomach flu - how awful that vomit and diarrhea can actually be permitted to coexist together. Tuesday afternoon both boys began the horrendous journey into the "stomach flu zone" which began with a few rather benign watery poos and devolved into something much, much worse; Projectile vomiting, screaming, diarrhea and long intense 'bouts of whining and whimpering.

Both Matt and I feel so badly for our kids and also, conversely have the urge to quietly leave them at Target for an hour in a paper box to fend for themselves:) So far we haven't left them anywhere, it is probably in part due to the fact that they are feeling a little bit better today.

This is day 5 of this monstrous bug, it had better get its meaty claws out of my family soon, or ELSE!

Spring is here, or at least approaching at a fairly leisurely rate, I will take it. Nice to have a little sun on our bleached and drawn faces. My double stroller can actually fit down the sidewalk and I am feeling a little lighter, a little happier.

Matt and I have been up to all kinds of brave things these days, no not just marriage and parenting twins:) But also getting our little Eliot assessed at the Developmental Medicine Center of Boston Children's Hospital. It would take a long time to fully articulate everything leading up to this, suffice it to say that both Matt and I saw behavior in Eliot that we felt on a very gut level was "something".

The good news is that he is not on the Autism Spectrum for which we are truly grateful, and that he has a "Communication Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified, he will be getting help from a speech pathologist to help with this as well as some other services down the road. We will also be getting him down to the Genetic Testing Center as well just to rule out some issues there. The even better news is that Eliot scored above average in cognition and problem solving in his evaluation, this as our Doc said points to above average intelligence ( I knew that anyway:). He scored lower in expressive language ( We also knew about that:). All good news, we are happy that Eliot will be getting any and all help that he needs.

Henry is doing well and speaking in sentences now, "Mama, want chocolate milk, like it, peeease" for example. We are blown away with his language ability - he is not even two yet! Eliot's frustrations over communicating are probably exacerbated because of Henry's ease at communicating.

Matt has some hopeful employment opportunities coming down the pipe and it looks like I will be staring back up with my freelance writing, yeah! Then on to EMT school, goody, goody.

I feel like we are finally starting to surface from the lower levels... yeah!

Those who are Awake
live in a state of constant amazement ...

~ Jack Kornfield ~

Poo-poo trucks and chicken

So Eliot pood in the bathtub tonight, he really, really did. Not since he was a little minute old has he done that. I had just taken Henry out of the tub and had him wrapped in a towel when I saw my little man crouching in the tub. Eli looked up at me with red rimmed eyes and suddenly there was a whole bunch of "chicken" as Henry called it in the water! OMG!

So, yep, not quite at the potty training stage yet:) Henry is talking up a storm right now. It is as though our whole lives are being narrated by a toddler.

"Car, beep, beep" , "want it", "have it" etc. Eliot is really practicing his blinking:)

Just to end on a little poo-poo note, our day began as a sewage truck parked in front of our house to suck up overflowing plumbing. The boys were quick to watch said poo-poo truck until it pulled away waving, "bye, bye, poo - poo truck".

More snow. Yep, there it is flying around outside, floating little orbs descending on the already pregnant piles of snow lining the streets. Given that it is February still, I suppose that winter is supposed to still be here and present, even if we are so totally done with it already:)

It is going on into the fifth month of no work for our family, Matt and I are looking fervently for any sign, any break that may be on the horizon. So far he has had 2 interviews for jobs that are not nearly enough money or hours. The unemployment dollars are stretched so thin they are practically transparent. I know that others have it worse, I know that we are lucky to have what we do. But I am getting to the WTF portion now.

It might also be the encroaching Republican noise about redefining rape, attempting to re-model the women's right to choose, the Tea Party and all of its racist and white solipsistic propping up. The idea that Texas Universities are vying for more guns at their schools...All of it seems to be piling up.

The whole remembering to be grateful thing, yeah, trying really hard to be humble but it seems to be overtaken by the roaring of anxiety and the blood rushing in my ears. I am scared, really scared of what this all means for our family right now. I feel as though we are running in a little hamster wheel repeating the same actions and hoping that the outcome will be different...soon. One of us must stay with the kids, double dollars for childcare does not even make sense right now. One of must work, Matt has more chance of employment than I at this point, and he has better odds of making money with his teaching license and experience. My childcare expertise is a pittance sum, but I am seriously considering night work? We are searching out alphabetical plan Z's...

We are searching for work out of state and, as a last resort, out of country should we need to.

We would be in dire straits now without the generosity of so many people, but after a point one does not want to be the object of charity. I am exercising my mind to hold on, we are making a date that at such a point as the "job" does not appear that we will try a plan b, c, d, etc. All dependent on how well our kids would do in that given situation.

These are tough times, I know that we are tough too, but our edges are frayed and tired.

We have each other, we have our little family all together. That is something to be grateful for.

The Grand Tour...

I think we have reached the bleak portion of the winter, ugh, January. Our entire house has been to the hospital, or hospitals really in the last while. This hospital visiting is not helping the mood around here at all. Henry at MEEI, Matt at Cambridge and me at Whidden and Somerville for ridiculous injuries; my eye being poked. Really, no kidding, Henry poked me square in the old eyeball and it really hurt. As it turns out I have a corneal abrasion: http://www.emedicinehealth.com/corneal_abrasion/article_em.htm

It looks as though I am all clear, 'cept for some ointment, it's okay.

Eliot is healing well physically, he appears to be a little troubled about anyone messing with him: diaper changes, face washing, hair washing, brushing etc. We know that he has some sensory issues and I will be keeping a close eye to make sure he is doing okay.

Matt is still looking for work and we have been job searching together, he has been applying all over the place. We are keeping fingers crossed that something comes to fruition, Matt is so talented and a wonderful teacher anyone would be lucky to have him. I know, I know, but it's true.

The kids and I have been going to the " Y " to get the lead out and get the sillies out a bit. I am looking forward to warmer weather when we can go the park and enjoy outside. But I am grateful for all the friends and support that we have here in Malden.

Looking at the two corn cakes makes me proud to be their mom, they are so amazing.