"plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose"—"the more it changes, the more it's the same thing", usually translated as "the more things change, the more they stay the same," (Les Guêpes, January 1849) -Alphonse Karr

So much has changed, so much is the same. I am now officially someone who is on the "paid labor" side of things. That's right, bringing home the bacon, albeit a little on the slim side:) The boys attend the 1/2 day program at their preschool and we are feeling the pressure of having to puzzle piece our childcare pick-ups while I attend some day training for my night job. It feels good to be a part of the paid working world, but I miss my little boys too, wonder about their day and if they have their forty cents for milk, if Eli is adjusting alright or if I will get a "with prompting" comment on his social skills report. I have been learning the art of phlebotomy and other lab skills. It is difficult to be the new girl and to have to learn new girl stuff, but it is also a challenge and I enjoy those, too. The holidays are swooping in and for me I have always looked forward to and loved them, having my kids has just intensified that love. I am truly grateful. We are going to have a big whopping Christmas at Nana and Papa's house and the kids are truly beside themselves with excitement. They are feeling the magic of the season and it is contagious. We are hoping to build our finances and to move in the spring, perhaps a larger place? Our boys certainly do not lack any of the important stuff and they have a large community here. I keep telling myself money is not everything, but it helps. Stay tuned for the next installment, until then stay warm.

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in a library? ~Lily Tomlin

It has been some time since my last post. I feel a little like some underwater sea creature coming up for air. I have some time and some space to breathe, just a little. I am basking in the short yet sweet respite of my pass in the Boston EMT course, now for the real deal - the State Exam!!! I am proud and somewhat surprised, I finished with a 90% and a 92.5% in the practical final. I almost needed some resuscitation! My partner and I toughed it out and rode the proverbial "stress stallion" (see Kari for explanation).

It is hard to think that in three months my little muffin cups will be three years old! How far we have come. Eliot has had a really tough week, although he has made such great progress it is scary to see how quickly his progress is undone by a week of provider changes and schedule interruptions. His eye stimulatio's have increased, his stomping and his dislike of light touch or sometimes touching at all. It is painful sometimes to see how difficult it is for him to self-regulate. We have been looking into a supported preschool program for both him and Henry. We are awaiting the school's decision on what kinds of programs he will have access to and what sorts of services he will receive. I am trying not to be confrontational about the meeting and trying to meet the group of professionals with an open optimism, but my gut is telling me something else. Thank goodness in Massachusetts there are clear cut paths for recourse and revision, I would just rather not have to use them.

Both boys are growing like weeds, Henry has graduated to the potty ( we are working on Mr. number 2) but all in all we are on track.

Matt and I have written out a substantial plan for our lives, I know, I know, plan away while life takes you on a completely different ride:) Planning anyway, we need some upward mobility at this point.

I feel as though Rachel, the non-Mom or at least Rachel ( the original ) has appeared again and she was nice enough to take me out for beers with actual people. All good, all enticing. I am looking to fill up all my proverbial cups ( what the hell show was that? ) anyway, to replenish all of the areas in my life that have needed replenishing. First stop, hair -