I can see clearly now the rain has gone...

Thankfully, after what seemed like a deluge of biblical proportions, sun. I felt quite intrepid however, trundling around Malden in the rain with my double stroller and handy ( read: expensive) rain shield. I felt that in spending so much on the damn rain shield meant that I had to get some use out of it. We did. To the library, the CVS, the play date around the corner, and home again.
Today the quiet, still sunlight seems just the thing - good!
My parents are arriving on the noon flight from Toronto. They will be staying in a hotel, which I am pleased about, as our two-bedroom apartment is small, and smaller still with the pressure (mostly self-inflicted) of being a good "host" while running around after my two very busy 16 month old boys. One day when we are rich ( ha! ) and we have a house with a lovely guest room and a guest bathroom, we can invite people to stay with us. Until then, the air-mattress in the middle of the floor is less suited to 65 year olds and frankly, to the tolerance level of the younger set:)
I have planned a loose fashioning for the rentals when they arrive and thankfully, Matt will be doing daddy-duty to offset their nap schedules ( we always try to respect the nap).
The Doctor thing is on hold as Dr. B is now replacing Dr.P and we will hopefully get some answers regarding Eliot's kidney quite soon.
We are crossing our fingers about Matt's job, haven't heard anything yet. Pumping out the good vibes just the same.

In response to a comment...

Jennifer said...
You circumcised your boys? Why?

August 13, 2010 5:32 PM


So, I was just going to post a reply when I suddenly became so incensed and had to wonder at my feelings. Hmmmmm, Rachel why so pissy? I started thinking that being asked this kind of question is a form of judgment. It is a way of injecting a kind of pejorative, sanctimonious blanket over a seemingly benign query.
I realized that such a big part of mothering is going on guts, instinct, cultural norms and upbringing and I believe that most moms are constantly questioning themselves anyway. I myself am always questioning, wondering, asking my mom friends, "Do you think that xyz is ___________?". So, when other people/moms/ questions and judge it really frosts my cupcakes. What works for one mom may not work for another, the secret, I think, is finding out what works for you.

I wanted to relate a pre-mother example of just this sort of thing using "moi" as my character.

Let us begin, enter Rachel at the University of Toronto, women's studies class, circa 1997. Rachel ( me ) totally self-righteous, knowing all of the answers, thanks for coming out but I came to teach YOU something ( read: sighing with shame ). Yes, well, that Rachel was going on about the perils of using hospital drugs while in childbirth, enduring the pain without drugs was "natural" I remember stating in my neverhadababy wisdom. I remember saying something like, "Why would you get an epidural? So your baby can be all drugged out when he/she is born?".
I thought I had that all wrapped up when an older woman approached me and said, " Until you have given birth, you should not claim to know what choices that you will make. Also, it is about choice, it is about what works for each woman in that situation." and she calmly sauntered off.
I remember that flaming face feeling of knowing, gulp, that she was right, and also that it was not my job to decide what was right for all women, just for me. Ironic, really when in later years I had an emergency c-section, spinal -blockers, and a slew of other non"natural" drugs. See how the universe makes you learn?

That lesson stays with me, and it has certainly been emphasized by all of experiences here, in Boston, with twins.
So, I guess in response to Jennifer:

Do I detect a derisive sort of judgmental tone? I could tell you that it was health reasons, that my son's degenerative kidney function forced us into it. That in Quebec, where both of my sons were born, they no longer perform circs. as a routine birth procedure. I could tell you that my other son has a kind of phimosis that called for surgery. I could tell you this as a way of apologizing for my choices, or I could just hope that in a community of women, of mothers, that we respect our different choices, we attempt not to judge each other, but to support one another. Lord knows, raising kids is hard enough.

So, from old Rachel to new Rachel, (Ha, I get it), knew you would :)

Prezzies

Today was one of those gifts you get, you know the ones that sit nicely in between chaos and insanity, the ones where you wake up and the sun is shining but it is not too hot. The ones where the wind is a perfect little breeze and the sky is the bluest blue ever. Yes, I breathed, and that was good:)
The boys and I enjoyed a mom and boys time at the park, met some Brazilian kids who were lovely, ate a nice lunch, had a nap, woke up and went out again to meet an African woman with whom we were speaking French. Yep, just one of those easy, cheesy ones that fill up the spiritual tank right when you are running on fumes alone.
Yeah!
Hoping that tonight Matt and I can relax a bit, enjoy our home date night and just chill.

Ahhhhhh,

Oh Dr. P. you really P'd me off

Yeah, not such a hot day. I think on scale of shitty days - this is below outhouse:)
Okay. bad joke, but still gotta try and lighten this up a bit, man!
So, we are getting ready to leave today, Matt goes outside to get something from the car and happens to notice a brand new flat tire! Thank-goodness for Uncle Mark who drove all of us to the doctor appointment for the boys with Matt crammed in the back seat between the kid's car-seats. It is really a good thing he is such a skinny man.
We arrived on time and ready with our list of questions determined to find out why the urethral re-implantation surgery has been repeatedly pushed back, why Eliot has had to undergo so many tests to measure his kidney function...we really wanted answers. Uncle Mark was with us and ready to look after the kids while we talk turkey with Dr. P about this whole surgery thing...
"Oh, Dr. P is not feeling well, we will have to re-schedule your appointment" says the receptionist at the desk.
"Are you kidding me?" I reply, "My husband took the day off work, we hired a babysitter ( I admit, a slight fib but still) and what? You couldn't have called before we left? Serioulsy?"
Dr. P sees me in a tither and offers to see us quickly.
"Oh, twins?" he says. Wait for it - this is the man who we have been seeing since February, the same man who did a double circumcision on my boys less than a month ago.
I know that doctors see a lot of kids, but seriously????
The end result for me, for Matt and I is that he is done. That's it - we are getting a second opinion and moving on to more, hmmmm, memorable pastures?
The good news is the flat tire is fixed, the kids are sleeping now and I am going to head out to drink something terribly alcoholic with the ladies tonight, pheew.

Breathe....in and then out, in and then out...
R

One down, one to go

Woke up today and shower-shared with Matt while we got ready to go. Henry and Eliot and I packed up and left early today, first Eliot was dropped off at my lovely friend Gigi's house to play with Zoe ( kinda like Eliot's girl ) while I took Henry to Mass Eye and Ear Hospital. It was quite a different experience traveling around with one baby, I really felt free and easy, moving my single stroller through the traffic of the T. It was also great knowing that my little Eliot was happy and safe with "Aunty" Gigi, phewwww.

Henry was a social butterfly as usual! When we arrived in the waiting room he proceeded to read and then throw the magazines around on the carpet while he, not so stealthily, absconded with a nice older man's bottle of water! Oh, Henry! My charming little imp only needs to flash his grin and people are instantly charmed. Wait until he's older, jeez!

Our hippie-ish plastic surgeon doctor /ophthalmologist , Dr. Fay, is nice and mellow. He has a lovely blonde pony-tail and very white teeth. He was the young Doctor that removed Eliot's hemangioma at our last visit to the hospital. He related that Henry had epiphora, a conditon that causes an over abundance of tears, or a lack of a drainage system. So, Henry has to be put under due to the sensitive nature of the eyes and his age, ugh! The anaesthesia is more risky than the actual procedure I am sure!
They will root around and figure out what the problem is, it may require temporary stints, or merely pricking the part that needs to be opened up. Guess we will see. At the very least, this one is not a super serious one and takes about 30 minutes and he is good to go, no recovery time at all. Me on the other hand, I may require some very strong alcohol to recover, ha! My little guy going through that makes me crazy - but it needs to be done.

All in all, knowing what to expect has at least made this part a little less worrisome. Early september for Henry and tomorrow - Dr. P and hopefully answers for Eliot!

Rach OUT:)

White Coat Syndrome

Oh the doctors and the hospitals...We went yesterday to do yet another test on my poor Eliot to determine what the hell is going on with that left kidney of his, ugh! As it turns out, the ultrasound results yielded next to nothing. Eliot has VUR this basically means that his urine backs up into his kidney causing damage. We have been waiting for a while now, since his last stay in the hospital, to see if he will be getting corrective surgery or not. So, yesterday our nephrologist ( kidney doc) said that his kidneys have not grown in size really at all, this is both good and bad. Thursday we meet with our surgeon, Dr. P and see what's going on.
Tomorrow, just to ice my cake, Henry has to go and see a doc about his tear ducts. I feel like I should be able to get a medical degree by mere approximation to these doctors, no?
My awesome friend Gigi will be watching Eliot tomorrow for a few hours while I take Henry in, what a nice friend:)
We have not heard about Matt's job prospects, we are only hoping that we get good news. We could use some right now, that's for sure. Waiting, waiting, waiting, patience, tenacity and frustration? Yeah, a bit - but I am working on the waiting part first.

Breathe...in and then out.

Good things and in between things

Well baby visit went well- in other words, the babies are indeed well! Henry and Eliot, Unka and I went to the doc's yesterday and did the whole weight, height percentiles and shots. Good, good and good. Pheewww, Matt and I used to break it down into basics when our 4 pound premies were home with us, "We did not kill the babies today,". Thankfully it seems that the boys are living and yes, thriving. Henry boasts a 21 pound weight and Eliot tops him at almost 23 pounds. I love that part of the doctor visit when the little humans begin to look like people, like little men. I still marvel at how Matt and I were able to do such a fantastic and miraculous thing. We still laugh sometimes in the night and say, " We have kids in that room, how crazy is that?" . Truthfully, it really is a trip!
Our little Eliot has some weird kidney things that need to be fixed surgically. Next week we will figure out the timeline for all of this, as well as Henry's tear duct thing. I could be a spokeswoman for MGH, I should volunteer as I think I know that hospital wayyyy too well. For now, I am thinking good clean thoughts. THoughts that are good for a friday afternoon, that sit nicely in the sun and the gorgeous wind.
Matt went to his interview at UMass and all looks good. I am putting good energy out there - My besty Gigi would say, "Put that out in the universe..." You can, too. In fact, do, any little bit helps.

Here, there and everywhere

Yesterday was a test in octo-mom powers! We went to a little parkette on Madison Street, the kids were out in full force taking advantage of Malden's "free lunch" summers for kids. Henry and Eliot took off at full speed in completely opposite directions! I found myself grabbing one in a football hold and running to get the other at break neck speed! Pheewww! My face red and sweaty and now grabbing a handful of t-shirt from each kid, we attempted the small slide structure. This is harder than I thought, I am now thinking of safety vs fun and challenging things for the kids to do. I imagine more of the same grabbing, lunging, running to catch up will continue.
My husband just found out he has an interview at a very good University - this may mean we can be saved from ruin at the end of September. Facing job loss while our finances are already tight, sccccaarrryyy. So, we are all keeping our toes and fingers crossed that all goes well tomorrow.
Sara, our Early Intervention provider is coming over today to make sure that our thriving boys continue to thrive. Both boys were assessed in February and both were found to have delays. Eliot, a speech delay and Henry a fine motor delay. We now see that Henry is speaking at an 18 month old level and has far surpassed his fine motor delay, yes, he is now taking apart bookshelves and turning the tiny little screws, fun! Eliot while quiet, is exactly where he should be. While preemies can exhibit some delays, as seen by my two kids, they can almost certainly outgrow them, too.
Feeling hopeful, let's see what happens next!

Summer time and the living's eeeeeee....

We decided, rather I decided, to go to the common today - that's Boston speech for the Boston Common. It really is beautiful, complete with a bazillion tourists decked out in matching tie-dye t-shirts ( I actually saw this particular family marching around and holding hands...it can be a dangerous park in the middle of the day surrounded by swan boats, what?).
My two boys, Henry and Eliot enjoyed themselves with our friend and her lovely daughter. I love the aeclectic mix of suits glued to their phones, daycare kids and their bellowing teachers and the riff- raff, mostly moms like myself toting children around in crunchy strollers with crunchy kids.
After plying my boys with snacks, we rolled along Charles Street and towards the hospital admiring the well put together stores with their even more put together people. I love that moment when I realize I am smack dab in the middle of fancy town wearing pants encrusted with matching handprints, and some unknowable substance dangling from a few strands of my hair; Two words: hot mama! Ugh!
Such is life, the long drop from regular hygiene and nights out on the town. When I think back to my well heeled days of yore I often say, " Who was that fine woman and where was her macaroni necklace?". Ha, ha, ha.