Fa, La, La, La...Crafty Craft:)

Yeah! I am friggin' crafty Caroline, cookin' Claudia, glittering Gladys - well, you get the idea:) I have ( and by I, I really mean Matt and I ) got Christmas done - inexpensively and quite beautifully if I may say so. With our limited resources this year we decided to go for the "handmade" gifts. I know, you are thinking badly knitted things and hokey religious mangers out of popsicle sticks - no, no my friends.

Be prepared to be amazed and astounded:

Numero 1, Ze Paper Ornaments :

Made them with the kids using construction paper and basically anything red coloured! We tore up the paper, put it in the

blender with some water, and

formed them into shapes using cookie cutters. Then bake, voila!

Here is the link for the instructions:

http://www.playcreateexplore.com/2010/11/recycled-paper-

christmas-ornaments.html

The next thing we

made were rainbow crayons. I truly love this one. We melted crayon bits in muffin tins mixing gorgeous colours

together and popped them out in a round shape. Awesome for kids, fun for adults to make!

This one we are doing again!:

http://dohdums.wordpress.com/2010/09/02/tutorial-kid-friendly-crayons/

And of course we did the cookie thing, Martha Stuart cookies this year a la cocoa ganache, oh, excuse me:) The kids made the roll cookies with us, they mostly wanted to eat everything. It was really a lot of fun:)

I bought some little things form Target and put it all together with some tissue and love, check it out:

Love it,

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays:)

"In times of stress be bold and valiant" - Horace

Christmas is in full swing, which as most know about me, is fantastic as I love the holidays!

I am trying not to let everything going on both before and after the holidays taint my enthusiasm while Henry has his last eye stent removed on the 21st. It is good to finally be rid of the stents but he needs to be put under, not so good. But he will be all done with the darn eye things after this:)

Eliot's big surgery is looming but Boston Children's Hospital sent us quite a substantial preview and we have a pre-op date that will last hours apparently to discuss all the stuff involved.

I have to admit that I have a bit of a cry every now and then to release all of the internalized worry and stress. Sometimes I just feel as though I need somewhere to put it all and I don't want to worry my own family. Hmmmm, I feel as though this is a bit of a mom thing, no?

I have taken up "Zumba" at our local Ymca and I think that helps, as does the sauna and steam room.

When the chips are down I tend to "circle-the-wagons" and keep my head down, I am trying to juggle - more like balance, all the hard with some of the joy of this time of year. Mostly I try to quiet my mind so that I can relax for a moment and breathe.

When Henry approached me with his plastic pink cup saying, "Coffee? Hot?" this morning it was really, really hard not to just be so happy that I have these two boys in my life - wait three boys, Matt is pretty awesome these days:)

The more things change...surgery date has arrived.

Not what we thought, but still there is some decision that has been made. Dr. B called tonight, prime-time dinner hour which for us is around senior citizen dinner time, five ish. Dr. B said that he talked with his five colleagues and that they had overwhelmingly voted for ureteral re-implantation surgery on the yucky kidney:

http://www.ucsfbenioffchildrens.org/education/ureteral_reimplant_surgery/index.html

So, we are going to try and preserve the last little bits of function that it has instead of just eighty-sixing the whole thing. The weird thing is that we hung up the phone and later on got a call to get the whole thing moving. So, we are on for January 3 and we are thankfully going to have a big preoperative chat with all the people we need to talk with at the hospital.

My first reaction was to cry, the eyes watering, this is all happening kinda leaking crying and Matt hugged me back into okayness. I think this is good, it is nice to be doing something and to feel as though we are working for Eliot now. It is scary, I am terrified, but also feeling good that Eliot may be able to have two kidneys in his lifetime even if the one is a lot less.

On another note, Christmas tree is up, smells great and only one ornament broken. Tree 0, kids 1. The boys are so excited and have been actually saying, "Shhhhhhhanta", I love it.

I will try to keep posted and to tell everyone that I can feel the cyber support, thanks:)

Merry- Merry

La deuxieme partie

Well, it was all very anti-climatic really, Dr. P had not received the necessary info about Eliot's test and was very: it could be this but if it's not then we can do this, or we can not...

Yep, less is not more right now! Anyway, looks like the molars have begun to invade both Henry and Eliot's mouths and they are not happy (read: Matt and I are not happy). It is really hard to console the inconsolable; nothing is working it just hurts Mama and Dada!!!! We are not opposed to tylenol or anything that stops the pain, still, they hurt.

We are trying to be optimistic about life and things in general but I must admit I am feeling more Bitchy Barbara than Susie Frickin Sunshine, that is okay, that is life. I went for a pedi today which somehow seemed to make things a little brighter. Something about bubbling warm water and polish that can pick a girl up.

I am looking forward, looking up, trying to see the light at the end of the proverbial paper-towel roll.

The Next Big Thing

Eliot had his big mag3 test with lasix and it looks like his kidney is not doing well at all. Matt and I were more than a little shocked that his function had gone from 19% to 12% in a matter of months! It looks as though the reconstructive surgery they were going to do is not going to happen, instead they are thinking that they may have to just take out the left kidney totally.

Pheeewww, it is so scary!

Dr. B was so kind and patient, we are pleased he is working with us now. Our only thoughts are that Dr. P ( the other doc) may have been to able to save the kidney? Maybe, maybe not. We are going to talk to the nephrologist on Friday, more answers.

All at once we are relieved to know what to expect and scared at the prospect of what is to come. Knowing is key, knowing is what we wanted.

Both boys are chunky-monkeys and doing well, Eliot seems to be a little traumatized by his test more than a little white-coat shy. I keep telling myself that we are doing what is best for him, but it is hard when you see your child so upset. Matt standing by my side and sharing in the experience was so good for both Eliot and I.

There are times when you know the universe is conspiring, that things happen for a reason. Matt being home has been really lovely for the kids and a support system for me. I was joking with him talking about how when he does go back to work I will be spoiled:)

We have not let the hurdles slow down or dampen our holiday spirit. Christmas is my favourite Holiday, we are excited to have a great one this year. Albeit Henry will be getting his eye stent removed early December, it will be the last one. I think that Eliot's kidney will happen later on, we shall see. While I am teary at times when I really take time to think about all of this, I try to think of all the people and things that our family is graced with: love, generosity and kindness from everywhere. This, my second Thanksgiving in the United States, is a time to reflect on things I am grateful for and there are many people and many things to count. They can fix what Eliot has, we have family and friends that are standing so strongly with us. We are not alone and we are not bereft, we are loved. How lucky are we?

Fresh Santa

Just a few short days until Eliot will get another mag3 nuclear med. test to determine his kidney function on the left side. Dr. B., the new and improved doc, will be giving us answers which I am both relieved and scared about. I guess watching your baby have to go through tests and lots of poking and prodding makes any mother feel a little circumspect.

My favourite time of the year is approaching, yes, favourite is spelled with a "u" , kay? Christmas! We are getting ready for our big boys to visit what we have come to know as "Fresh Santa", the big guy who we sit on and visit with at the mall in November instead of later, mostly because he is fresh. He is not in mid-december, lines of kids, too many sips outta the old flask, who knows! When we see Santa he is all fresh, pressed and ready to rock Christmas. So, yeah, Fresh Santa this week hopefully:)

Matt and I are poor, poor, poor and our lovely kids don't know and are not lacking for much. We are okay, pressing along and keeping our heads above the proverbial water. Fa, la, la, la, la.

Halloween approaches, the trees are suitably dressed. I can feel the time slipping by when I look at how big my two boys have gotten, 18 months old today. Pheeww, I cannot even imagine what my life felt like without them, it is as though they have always been in our lives.

Henry's constant questioning and requests to "Oh-bum?" everything that can be closed and opened. While Eliot barks away at his doggies and points out every single light that is "Ohhhnnnnuh" and calls so sweetly for his brother, "Ennnnnn-yeeeaaaa". All of this deliciousness and goodness amidst all the stress and tension, quite a lucky paradox really.

The boys have so enjoyed their Da-da home and while we continue to do our things that we get up to, Dad visits or pops in at playgroups or parks and the both kids are so happy to see him, and Matt to see them.

This is the next part, the next chapter, I can see it in the gait of my newly running children, the way that new roads will soon be appearing. It is as though we are cresting over a hill and we are just now able to see past the line of the horizon and beyond.

We are poor, very poor, but reasonably happy ( read totally stressed out!) but there is a calm, knowing that we are okay. Maybe we are the kings of Calamity, I would rather think we are not getting too good at living so close to disaster, I would rather think that we have found some faith. The faith in ourselves, the universe, but mostly in how much we love our kids and each other, that this good thing will see us over the next ridge ( that and a lot of hard work).

We are working hard, Matt is working hard, I see him reaching and stretching for the next thing, the job that will be the one, the answers for us. I am so proud of him. I am looking to start my course ( money permitting ) in January. We are all ready.

I am surprisingly calm, centered, feeling good. There is always tomorrow, but for now, c'est beau:)

I should be a tour guide of MEEI...

It has been some time since I have written, I did not want to start sounding like the "hospital lady" as all of my news lately has been health related; I was starting to feel a little as though I was typecasting myself:)

As it stands, and to be brief, Henry had yet another surgery tuesday night, suffice it to say that all looks well now as both eyes have been "re-done" and we are hoping for the best. Ugh! and double ugh!

Now we begin the first week of Matt's non - working and a little part of me is happy as we will get to spend time as a family, and as it turns out, I can get a little "me" time. I am trying to squeeze in a zumba class and perhaps a driving lesson. Weird to be thinking in terms of me and my time, wow, I forgot about how awesome that can be.

I am bone tired, psychically exhausted and hoping that we can catch a break.

Seeing my sister this weekend, fresh from the motherland was great, I love her sooo much.

I will continue to bore with my health talk and my pseudo hopefulness ( wink, wink ) and make small wishes into the night...

xoxoxo

Leaves are falling, leaves are falling all around...

When I was little the sharp, crisp air, the leaves collecting in crunchy piles along the sidewalks, all heralded new beginning: fall. It was not just that autumn was in swing, it was more. School was starting and the long, lingering days of summer were receding in to the background, this was serious, this was september.
In a flash, even september seems to be flying by.
I love new starts, I remember new notebooks with my perfect handwriting vowing that this year would be the year, this year I would stop being the dreamy look-out-of-the-window student, I would start being the A-plus student.
And what a dream it was, for at least a week:)
I find that our lives are taking that same turn, change, newness, things ready for a new start. Matt still waits to hear back about the many jobs he has been applying for - I believe in him. I know things will be okay, we could just use that good news sooner than later:)
Something about today, the quality of late afternoon sunlight, the blue of the sky and the laughing little smiles from our two lovely boys made me think that we are on the up swing. It just felt that way.
I try to remember to be thankful, to be grateful for all the good and to try and not internalize all of the worry and strife, today that was pretty easy.

Living in the moment, right inside of it is sometimes the key to enjoying life I think. That moment of pavement and rolling plastic cars, children laughing and our family together, I am glad I could savour it, I sucked all the marrow of it, it was delicious.

The only way is up...

I feel as though anything that could have gone wrong with Henry's simple tear duct surgery, did! After the horrendous post-anaesthesia wake-up, following the actual stent loosening and coming out ( it literally looked like a figure eight of very thin, very pliable fishing line coming out of the corner of his eye and resting on the lens of his eyeball), to the visit on Friday ( emergency visit due to the stent coming out), as well as the stent continuing to come out further on Saturday, to the second surgery Sunday morning! Suffice it to say, Henry did not love it, but it is over. His eye appears to be okay, nothing coming out, all the parts are inside. That is what we like. Phhheewwww. Nana, aka Matt's mom was kind enough to turn around and come back over to our little small apartment and sleep on an air mattress to be with first, Eliot, while Henry was in surgery and then Henry while Eliot came with us to see ( drum roll please) Dr. B. who is in fact just bloody lovely!

Boston Children's Hospital boasts quite a rep, especially for an out-of-towner like myself, I was more than impressed. Dr. B appears to be everything that Dr. P is not: organized, informative, warm and yes, has a plan for our little corn-muffin, Eliot. Complete with colour charts of the urinary system to handy pull-out plasticized sheets of kidneys with easy to understand drawings that he patiently explains a step at a time. I feel as though we have broken up with Dr. P, we just could not abide his ways, and we are seeing a new flame, the Doc with the charts, the man with the plan, Doc. Beeeeeee.

We are thrilled, Matt and I could barely contain our relief after the hospital tours this week, it was a wonderful to have such a good experience. Thanks to Uncle Mark for hanging out Eliot in the waiting room so we could have a proper chat without the "...no, don't touch that, sorry, go on, Eliot, not in your mouth please. Sorry, do go on, hang-on, I told you not to lick that, it's dirty" scenario playing out.

More tests for Eli, but at least these tests have a purpose and a plan.

Also, EI came today to see about my boys and to see if the still qualified at 16 months for more help. They don't 'cause they are genuises and they are awesome. Just saying...hope this is the momentum roll that continues. We could use it.

Not so Routine, Routine Surgery

What a day we had yesterday - there is something beautiful about the normalcy of watching my boys play in their tent and haul around toys. After what was supposed to be a "routine" tear duct probing and irrigation/repair for Henry it turned into something a lot more involved!
After arriving at MEEI at 6:00 am, he was prepped for surgery and I went with him while he was put under. All was relatively normal until we found ourselves waiting into the second hour of his "20 minute surgery"...
I met with Henry, my little 16mth old guy, still out and swaddled in the arms of a nurse, a wad of gauze under his nose, both eyes nearly swollen shut, one purpled and beginning to look like Rocky Balboa! He had blood coming out of his nose at intervals and soaking the little piece of gauze, ugh, it was something to see.
Needless to say, I was not prepared for that as I was told that he would not even know what had occurred and would pretty much dust himself off and keep on keeping on...
I felt the colour drain from my face and the nurse telling me to breathe as I held my little guy. He was given morphine twice as he was not dealing with coming out of the anaesthesia very well. He was kicking and wiggling and screaming quite a bit until we were admitted to our own little room. Finally, at long last listening to his Dada's voice reading a story, he fell asleep.
Apparently, it was not as routine as they thought, Dr. Ponytail said that they had run into some issues but had placed stints on either side of his ducts to help drain. THe good news, it's done and his eyes should get better and the tears will have somewhere to go.
Thankfully, Eliot stayed with his lovely Nana who is always there to help us. I really don't know what we would do without her, Eliot was quiet while his twin was away and as Nana relates, missing his bro.

So, today, quiet and restfulness.

I can see clearly now the rain has gone...

Thankfully, after what seemed like a deluge of biblical proportions, sun. I felt quite intrepid however, trundling around Malden in the rain with my double stroller and handy ( read: expensive) rain shield. I felt that in spending so much on the damn rain shield meant that I had to get some use out of it. We did. To the library, the CVS, the play date around the corner, and home again.
Today the quiet, still sunlight seems just the thing - good!
My parents are arriving on the noon flight from Toronto. They will be staying in a hotel, which I am pleased about, as our two-bedroom apartment is small, and smaller still with the pressure (mostly self-inflicted) of being a good "host" while running around after my two very busy 16 month old boys. One day when we are rich ( ha! ) and we have a house with a lovely guest room and a guest bathroom, we can invite people to stay with us. Until then, the air-mattress in the middle of the floor is less suited to 65 year olds and frankly, to the tolerance level of the younger set:)
I have planned a loose fashioning for the rentals when they arrive and thankfully, Matt will be doing daddy-duty to offset their nap schedules ( we always try to respect the nap).
The Doctor thing is on hold as Dr. B is now replacing Dr.P and we will hopefully get some answers regarding Eliot's kidney quite soon.
We are crossing our fingers about Matt's job, haven't heard anything yet. Pumping out the good vibes just the same.

In response to a comment...

Jennifer said...
You circumcised your boys? Why?

August 13, 2010 5:32 PM


So, I was just going to post a reply when I suddenly became so incensed and had to wonder at my feelings. Hmmmmm, Rachel why so pissy? I started thinking that being asked this kind of question is a form of judgment. It is a way of injecting a kind of pejorative, sanctimonious blanket over a seemingly benign query.
I realized that such a big part of mothering is going on guts, instinct, cultural norms and upbringing and I believe that most moms are constantly questioning themselves anyway. I myself am always questioning, wondering, asking my mom friends, "Do you think that xyz is ___________?". So, when other people/moms/ questions and judge it really frosts my cupcakes. What works for one mom may not work for another, the secret, I think, is finding out what works for you.

I wanted to relate a pre-mother example of just this sort of thing using "moi" as my character.

Let us begin, enter Rachel at the University of Toronto, women's studies class, circa 1997. Rachel ( me ) totally self-righteous, knowing all of the answers, thanks for coming out but I came to teach YOU something ( read: sighing with shame ). Yes, well, that Rachel was going on about the perils of using hospital drugs while in childbirth, enduring the pain without drugs was "natural" I remember stating in my neverhadababy wisdom. I remember saying something like, "Why would you get an epidural? So your baby can be all drugged out when he/she is born?".
I thought I had that all wrapped up when an older woman approached me and said, " Until you have given birth, you should not claim to know what choices that you will make. Also, it is about choice, it is about what works for each woman in that situation." and she calmly sauntered off.
I remember that flaming face feeling of knowing, gulp, that she was right, and also that it was not my job to decide what was right for all women, just for me. Ironic, really when in later years I had an emergency c-section, spinal -blockers, and a slew of other non"natural" drugs. See how the universe makes you learn?

That lesson stays with me, and it has certainly been emphasized by all of experiences here, in Boston, with twins.
So, I guess in response to Jennifer:

Do I detect a derisive sort of judgmental tone? I could tell you that it was health reasons, that my son's degenerative kidney function forced us into it. That in Quebec, where both of my sons were born, they no longer perform circs. as a routine birth procedure. I could tell you that my other son has a kind of phimosis that called for surgery. I could tell you this as a way of apologizing for my choices, or I could just hope that in a community of women, of mothers, that we respect our different choices, we attempt not to judge each other, but to support one another. Lord knows, raising kids is hard enough.

So, from old Rachel to new Rachel, (Ha, I get it), knew you would :)

Prezzies

Today was one of those gifts you get, you know the ones that sit nicely in between chaos and insanity, the ones where you wake up and the sun is shining but it is not too hot. The ones where the wind is a perfect little breeze and the sky is the bluest blue ever. Yes, I breathed, and that was good:)
The boys and I enjoyed a mom and boys time at the park, met some Brazilian kids who were lovely, ate a nice lunch, had a nap, woke up and went out again to meet an African woman with whom we were speaking French. Yep, just one of those easy, cheesy ones that fill up the spiritual tank right when you are running on fumes alone.
Yeah!
Hoping that tonight Matt and I can relax a bit, enjoy our home date night and just chill.

Ahhhhhh,

Oh Dr. P. you really P'd me off

Yeah, not such a hot day. I think on scale of shitty days - this is below outhouse:)
Okay. bad joke, but still gotta try and lighten this up a bit, man!
So, we are getting ready to leave today, Matt goes outside to get something from the car and happens to notice a brand new flat tire! Thank-goodness for Uncle Mark who drove all of us to the doctor appointment for the boys with Matt crammed in the back seat between the kid's car-seats. It is really a good thing he is such a skinny man.
We arrived on time and ready with our list of questions determined to find out why the urethral re-implantation surgery has been repeatedly pushed back, why Eliot has had to undergo so many tests to measure his kidney function...we really wanted answers. Uncle Mark was with us and ready to look after the kids while we talk turkey with Dr. P about this whole surgery thing...
"Oh, Dr. P is not feeling well, we will have to re-schedule your appointment" says the receptionist at the desk.
"Are you kidding me?" I reply, "My husband took the day off work, we hired a babysitter ( I admit, a slight fib but still) and what? You couldn't have called before we left? Serioulsy?"
Dr. P sees me in a tither and offers to see us quickly.
"Oh, twins?" he says. Wait for it - this is the man who we have been seeing since February, the same man who did a double circumcision on my boys less than a month ago.
I know that doctors see a lot of kids, but seriously????
The end result for me, for Matt and I is that he is done. That's it - we are getting a second opinion and moving on to more, hmmmm, memorable pastures?
The good news is the flat tire is fixed, the kids are sleeping now and I am going to head out to drink something terribly alcoholic with the ladies tonight, pheew.

Breathe....in and then out, in and then out...
R

One down, one to go

Woke up today and shower-shared with Matt while we got ready to go. Henry and Eliot and I packed up and left early today, first Eliot was dropped off at my lovely friend Gigi's house to play with Zoe ( kinda like Eliot's girl ) while I took Henry to Mass Eye and Ear Hospital. It was quite a different experience traveling around with one baby, I really felt free and easy, moving my single stroller through the traffic of the T. It was also great knowing that my little Eliot was happy and safe with "Aunty" Gigi, phewwww.

Henry was a social butterfly as usual! When we arrived in the waiting room he proceeded to read and then throw the magazines around on the carpet while he, not so stealthily, absconded with a nice older man's bottle of water! Oh, Henry! My charming little imp only needs to flash his grin and people are instantly charmed. Wait until he's older, jeez!

Our hippie-ish plastic surgeon doctor /ophthalmologist , Dr. Fay, is nice and mellow. He has a lovely blonde pony-tail and very white teeth. He was the young Doctor that removed Eliot's hemangioma at our last visit to the hospital. He related that Henry had epiphora, a conditon that causes an over abundance of tears, or a lack of a drainage system. So, Henry has to be put under due to the sensitive nature of the eyes and his age, ugh! The anaesthesia is more risky than the actual procedure I am sure!
They will root around and figure out what the problem is, it may require temporary stints, or merely pricking the part that needs to be opened up. Guess we will see. At the very least, this one is not a super serious one and takes about 30 minutes and he is good to go, no recovery time at all. Me on the other hand, I may require some very strong alcohol to recover, ha! My little guy going through that makes me crazy - but it needs to be done.

All in all, knowing what to expect has at least made this part a little less worrisome. Early september for Henry and tomorrow - Dr. P and hopefully answers for Eliot!

Rach OUT:)

White Coat Syndrome

Oh the doctors and the hospitals...We went yesterday to do yet another test on my poor Eliot to determine what the hell is going on with that left kidney of his, ugh! As it turns out, the ultrasound results yielded next to nothing. Eliot has VUR this basically means that his urine backs up into his kidney causing damage. We have been waiting for a while now, since his last stay in the hospital, to see if he will be getting corrective surgery or not. So, yesterday our nephrologist ( kidney doc) said that his kidneys have not grown in size really at all, this is both good and bad. Thursday we meet with our surgeon, Dr. P and see what's going on.
Tomorrow, just to ice my cake, Henry has to go and see a doc about his tear ducts. I feel like I should be able to get a medical degree by mere approximation to these doctors, no?
My awesome friend Gigi will be watching Eliot tomorrow for a few hours while I take Henry in, what a nice friend:)
We have not heard about Matt's job prospects, we are only hoping that we get good news. We could use some right now, that's for sure. Waiting, waiting, waiting, patience, tenacity and frustration? Yeah, a bit - but I am working on the waiting part first.

Breathe...in and then out.

Good things and in between things

Well baby visit went well- in other words, the babies are indeed well! Henry and Eliot, Unka and I went to the doc's yesterday and did the whole weight, height percentiles and shots. Good, good and good. Pheewww, Matt and I used to break it down into basics when our 4 pound premies were home with us, "We did not kill the babies today,". Thankfully it seems that the boys are living and yes, thriving. Henry boasts a 21 pound weight and Eliot tops him at almost 23 pounds. I love that part of the doctor visit when the little humans begin to look like people, like little men. I still marvel at how Matt and I were able to do such a fantastic and miraculous thing. We still laugh sometimes in the night and say, " We have kids in that room, how crazy is that?" . Truthfully, it really is a trip!
Our little Eliot has some weird kidney things that need to be fixed surgically. Next week we will figure out the timeline for all of this, as well as Henry's tear duct thing. I could be a spokeswoman for MGH, I should volunteer as I think I know that hospital wayyyy too well. For now, I am thinking good clean thoughts. THoughts that are good for a friday afternoon, that sit nicely in the sun and the gorgeous wind.
Matt went to his interview at UMass and all looks good. I am putting good energy out there - My besty Gigi would say, "Put that out in the universe..." You can, too. In fact, do, any little bit helps.

Here, there and everywhere

Yesterday was a test in octo-mom powers! We went to a little parkette on Madison Street, the kids were out in full force taking advantage of Malden's "free lunch" summers for kids. Henry and Eliot took off at full speed in completely opposite directions! I found myself grabbing one in a football hold and running to get the other at break neck speed! Pheewww! My face red and sweaty and now grabbing a handful of t-shirt from each kid, we attempted the small slide structure. This is harder than I thought, I am now thinking of safety vs fun and challenging things for the kids to do. I imagine more of the same grabbing, lunging, running to catch up will continue.
My husband just found out he has an interview at a very good University - this may mean we can be saved from ruin at the end of September. Facing job loss while our finances are already tight, sccccaarrryyy. So, we are all keeping our toes and fingers crossed that all goes well tomorrow.
Sara, our Early Intervention provider is coming over today to make sure that our thriving boys continue to thrive. Both boys were assessed in February and both were found to have delays. Eliot, a speech delay and Henry a fine motor delay. We now see that Henry is speaking at an 18 month old level and has far surpassed his fine motor delay, yes, he is now taking apart bookshelves and turning the tiny little screws, fun! Eliot while quiet, is exactly where he should be. While preemies can exhibit some delays, as seen by my two kids, they can almost certainly outgrow them, too.
Feeling hopeful, let's see what happens next!

Summer time and the living's eeeeeee....

We decided, rather I decided, to go to the common today - that's Boston speech for the Boston Common. It really is beautiful, complete with a bazillion tourists decked out in matching tie-dye t-shirts ( I actually saw this particular family marching around and holding hands...it can be a dangerous park in the middle of the day surrounded by swan boats, what?).
My two boys, Henry and Eliot enjoyed themselves with our friend and her lovely daughter. I love the aeclectic mix of suits glued to their phones, daycare kids and their bellowing teachers and the riff- raff, mostly moms like myself toting children around in crunchy strollers with crunchy kids.
After plying my boys with snacks, we rolled along Charles Street and towards the hospital admiring the well put together stores with their even more put together people. I love that moment when I realize I am smack dab in the middle of fancy town wearing pants encrusted with matching handprints, and some unknowable substance dangling from a few strands of my hair; Two words: hot mama! Ugh!
Such is life, the long drop from regular hygiene and nights out on the town. When I think back to my well heeled days of yore I often say, " Who was that fine woman and where was her macaroni necklace?". Ha, ha, ha.

what people say

Today was a hot, humid mess of a day. For the umpteenth time some well meaning woman said, "Wow, you got yer' hands full there," in a tone mixed with pity and a harumphing youjustwaitandsee kind of feel. This was made all the better by the man next in line at the coffee shop who just looked at me, looked at my boys and shook his head.
I can only imagine what a mother of high order multiples must go through - my experience as a twin mom has me meeting these people and their ( sometimes ) well meaning comments on a daily basis.
I have been thinking of a retort, the best I can come up with is a wry grin followed by, "I feel pretty lucky" and somehow I feel that we can do better than that.
If ya' got any ideas, I would love to hear them.


Night - night for now,
Rachel

then to now...Part Deux

Ten days spent at the Royal Victoria Hospital, a health care facility that looks like it belongs in Transylvania more than Quebec. Dark looming towers and old ivy laden stones. Yep, ten days spent in a little room shared by four other expectant moms. My closest roomie to my right I labeled the "walrus" . She had the most disgusting habit of clearing her nose and throat at about ten minute intervals, really nasty. Nastier still if one is forced to listen, as I was, due to the whole bed-rest thing. Thanks to my sister and her awesome mags and food and to Matt who really tried to entertain me in those too -big 32 week along days!

April 26, 2009 while reading a little US Weekly sitting on my bed, a huge gush of water poured down my leg and on to the floor, contractions began, it was go time!

Matt and my sister arrived at break neck speed and I was suddenly in the most pain of my life - searing, burning back pain with no rest in between. I still don't know if all of this was"normal" or not. However, a little while later with a spinal block in place, a curtain before my face, I did not much care.
Henry and Eliot were rushed immediately to the NICU, I saw one then two squirming tiny babies go rushing away and Matt with them. While they spent three weeks in the NICU, we were lucky that the only things they suffered from were smallness. Henry was close to 4 pounds and Eliot was just over 3 and a half. They were tiny, but they were strong!
July 19th, 2009 - Matt and I make our way with a caravan of people helping to monitor our babies, cart our ridiculous amount of stuff and of course, at long last, pass through the border, finally.

One year has passed, Henry and Eliot just turned 15 months, so far so good. My intention now is to write about our day to day, my experiences here in Malden, MA. I am hoping that some will read, share even, but this is mostly for me. A place that works to put words to raising twin boys in the US with my lovely hubby, Matt.

I can't say this will be the most interesting or exciting blog that ever was, I think I am working on just being honest. Here's to the next part.

then to now...Part One

Well, thought I should keep writing, correction, I NEED to keep writing. It has been a more than a year since my last post...back then I was yammering on about the crazy-ness of returning from Korea and trying, somewhat miserably, to ease back into North American life, pheew!

SInce then much has changed.

Where to begin, after a time frame fraught with familial strife, and seemingly unending panic resulting (in my mother's words) from the "re-entry" back into the Western World. The re-entry process, and yes, I am using the phrase because it does call up some pornographic images, was difficult. The whole shibang having begun in May and culminating in June with our wedding, was quite something.
The post-wedded bliss left quite a hole in our lives and was quickly replaced by worry and angst over my US Visa. The homeland security barring me, a nice Canadian girl, from stepping into the states. So, I waited. Unable to stay at home ( read: unable to endure the absolute takemebacktosixteenevenlivinginthesameroom, ahhhhh!) I rented a rather dodgy sublet in beautiful Montreal.
I felt displaced, disproportionate, at right angles with everything. Yet, it began to feel comfortable, I began to breathe in and out, in and out.
Matt was coming to visit me every other weekend and taking the long drive from Boston, a six to seven hour stretch of mountains and road. God, I missed him with every aching molecule in my body. One of those visits yielded quite a surprise, pregnancy! Yeah, pregnant and alone, what fun!
Matt was working two jobs and I had picked up a nanny position with a wonderful family. We waited some more for the interview to be scheduled so that I could be with Matt. We waited some more. By the time six months had passed my belly had grown so much. Everyone kept asking when I was due thinking that it was probably in the next ten minutes.
Our first ultrasound appointment, Matt arrived new year's eve, the night before 2009!
The Quebecois hospital was mostly French speaking and while I fumbled along it did little for Matt who waited by my bedside as the sonographer stated matter of factly that there were "deux bebe" or two babies~
I saw the colour drain from Matt's face, he sat down and we both tried to absorb the shock of our twins growing in my huge belly.

We finally received notice of our interview date for the US visa, we arrived and me, in full bulbosity trying to work a maternity button up that was more than a little hard to button up. We went through the interview providing this document and that paper. I even had a certified US doctor measure my belly. I am almost convinced he was doing it to ensure I had "baby" in there and not padding, ugh!
April 16th arrived, there was a certified letter at the post office, I knew it was my visa. Finally, at long last, thank the heavens, wait...something wasn't right.
Later at the hospital, after the mucus plug had begun to fall out of me, after Henry's little bum was hanging so low in my pelvis, after a friend, my sister and phone-calls to Matt were made and, at break neck speed he arrived that evening, after all that. I was on bedrest and on major drugs to prevent my boys from being born. They were, unlike most things in our life, too early.