Now I am in it, mixed in and thoroughly diced, sliced and pureed in it; school! Yes. The homework, reading, mad test panic, the flash-card making, not enough time, do I remember this from how many years ago feelings...Yes, check, all the listed passengers are accounted for! Phewww. It is an exciting and yet terrifying time for Rachel.
All good things, yet the constant barrage of information especially at the 7-10 pm range are sapping my strength. "Must...get...coffee...now."
I think it is also our Captain's manner of alluding to the bell mentality of our particular course. I am thinking of the Marine Corps. and the basic training scene that always pops up in movies where some drill Sergeant is daring his recruits to ring the bell so that they can go home, stop the pain, and relax.
Our EMT class version of this seems to be couched in the subtle, yet effective way in which we are told that EMTs are prone to stress, burnout, PTSD and that many people find themselves in the position of realizing that they are not, in fact, cut out for the job. That the hours are brutal, the pay is crap and well, let's face it, it is a tough job. It is in these moments that I am forced to wonder if the Cap. isn't just weeding out the weak. Wait, I'm not the weak, am I? No, no, my tenacious mind replies. I am the strong, I can do this...
During the day, my boys are busier by the minute as my Eliot is accessing all kinds of different services related to his diagnosis. We are excited about the ABA lady who will be joining us and I have been looking into any and all kinds of animal therapies. I won't lie, it is a lot to know and a lot to contend with in terms of the information out there. I have been reading both about Autism and ABA therapies as well as sensory issues and activities. By night I am chin deep in anatomy and pathophysiology. My life has taken a most interesting turn, directly inside it seems.
Eliot's scripted speech moments are becoming more and more frequent and sometimes really quite funny. He is fond of saying, " Okay, yeah, sure" in quite a loud and boisterous tone, followed by, "thank-you you're welcome." Henry told Uncle the other day that he looked tired, " Maybe you needa take a nap of a cup of coffee?" Yeah, he really did.
As time is just flying by I am realizing this will be the boys' third fall already, I love watching them get bigger. We are all ready for the next step - stay tuned.
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