Halloween approaches, the trees are suitably dressed. I can feel the time slipping by when I look at how big my two boys have gotten, 18 months old today. Pheeww, I cannot even imagine what my life felt like without them, it is as though they have always been in our lives.

Henry's constant questioning and requests to "Oh-bum?" everything that can be closed and opened. While Eliot barks away at his doggies and points out every single light that is "Ohhhnnnnuh" and calls so sweetly for his brother, "Ennnnnn-yeeeaaaa". All of this deliciousness and goodness amidst all the stress and tension, quite a lucky paradox really.

The boys have so enjoyed their Da-da home and while we continue to do our things that we get up to, Dad visits or pops in at playgroups or parks and the both kids are so happy to see him, and Matt to see them.

This is the next part, the next chapter, I can see it in the gait of my newly running children, the way that new roads will soon be appearing. It is as though we are cresting over a hill and we are just now able to see past the line of the horizon and beyond.

We are poor, very poor, but reasonably happy ( read totally stressed out!) but there is a calm, knowing that we are okay. Maybe we are the kings of Calamity, I would rather think we are not getting too good at living so close to disaster, I would rather think that we have found some faith. The faith in ourselves, the universe, but mostly in how much we love our kids and each other, that this good thing will see us over the next ridge ( that and a lot of hard work).

We are working hard, Matt is working hard, I see him reaching and stretching for the next thing, the job that will be the one, the answers for us. I am so proud of him. I am looking to start my course ( money permitting ) in January. We are all ready.

I am surprisingly calm, centered, feeling good. There is always tomorrow, but for now, c'est beau:)